Evening chats with Nicky

I first met Nicky and later Birgitta about 25 years ago. Since then I've seen them perhaps eight or nine times in England. He lived in Berlin and I'm in Nottingham so we only met when he was visiting family here. Most of these occasions I recollect only dimly. In January and February 2007 though, when Nicky's father was in hospital shortly before his death, we spoke regularly on the phone. It was typical of Nicky's generosity and love of his father that during the month or so his father was ill he made two or three visits to Birmingham, living in his father's house from which he visited the hospital for long sessions each day. While in Birmingham he was often alone although he was regularly in touch with his father's neighbours who came to regard him as a friend and respect his dedication. Occasionally I would get a telephone call from Birmingham after 10 pm to talk through his day. It always started with details about how his father was and how he, Nicky, was dealing with and feeling about it. I'm not very good in the evenings as I tend to get up early in the morning and I was often less than enthusiastic to get the call. We always spoke at length and I found myself warming to the conversation and enjoying it as time passed. It wasn't just a case of Nicky pouring out his sadness and regrets - of course this was part of it - but he had so many interests and we invariably ended up with a chat about film, or politics or family relationships. I had promised on a number of occasions to visit Berlin for the film festival and he'd promised to go with me to some showings and to give me a guided tour of the city. It is one of my regret I never made it. We'd just made tentative plans for me to go to Berlin in February for the festival in 2011 when he died so suddenly. When I think of these phone calls, which could go on for an hour, I remember how much he admired and loved his father and how important it was for him to spend as much time with his father as possible during his last days. Nicky was the most generous of souls and I'm pleased I was able to give a little of my time to talk to him. In the circumstances it was the least anyone could do. It also left me with warmest regard for Nicky. I saw him again at his father's funeral and once more in London but the conversations by phone gave me a greater insight into his thoughts and character and I liked so much of what I saw there. I'll miss him and I'm determined to get to Berlin to see Birgitta and the places he would have shown me.

Kathie

February 2011